Happiness, Contentment, Decision-Making and Law of Attraction.
Happiness is a state of mind, once we master the art & science of creating happy state of mind, we'll always be happy or at least most of time. No sorrow or hardship can put you down for long, when you accept the bitter truths of life, move on through it.
Happiness lies in the CAN-DO things of the life! I urge you to focus on it! Dwell on it! Be happy!
Remember, motivation, satisfaction or happiness are the by-products of your actions & lifestyle.
Happiness is heavily dependent on your habits. Habits can be mental, physical, spiritual or emotional. You can't be happy with bad mental habits like feeling excessively sad for yourself or hosting pity party every now & then.
It is natural for us to focus on uncontrollable things, things that are not going well or the dark spots of our life. Now, this is intuitive. There's a psychological experiment, suppose, if you are provided with a white paper, with a small dot somewhere in the sidelines, not in the center too. The first thing, what your mind or your eyes notice is that dark dot. Immediately, you say 'there's a dark pot(spot) in the white paper. They don't say there's a white paper, but somewhere on the sidelines, there's a negligible dark spot.
Most ignore white parts of the paper, magnify the dark spot on the white paper or life. Similarly, we focus on the sad things of our life, we focus on the things that are not going well or something that is off about anyone or anything. We dwell on it! So is true with the negative experiences. We want to forget those pains, we are trying hard, but we are not actually able to forget those experiences and those persons who harmed you so much. It's natural! The same video gets played for multiple time in your mind, for 'n' times.
You have done so many good things in your life, but still, if you are convicted of a murder or convicted in any sort of a crime or anything as such, you will not be provided employment, or it becomes very difficult to get the job. The world doesn't believe in you. All good things you have done, and they only focus on your bad things or that one crime you are accused of!
People forget what you have done to them or how much you have helped them or that you had spoken bad behind them. People never forget how you made them feel when you are interacting with them. It's very important to give absolute focus to anyone who are interacting with.
First impression is the last impression! No matter how much ever we may try very hard and it takes a lot of effort to change the first impression. Ethically, it is wrong. The first experience or the first impression creates a tremendous impact on the relationship. You should remember that the person will perceive, interact or move forward with the same first impression. Everybody has to be careful about how they project themselves in the first meeting or meeting someone for the first time.
People tell 'Oh! I am very frustrated! Stressed! I'm completely disappointed. I don't have any work satisfaction." However, the happiness and the satisfaction lie in focusing and magnifying on the prospects & prosperity. You need to focus on the prospect, and it also lies in focusing on the pleasurable things in our work on our life or any other aspect. You can use creative ideas to make your work a pleasurable experience. You can use affirmations - 'I love my work! It's a wonderful experience to work! To learn!' You have to understand that everything comes for a price. If you want to get something, you need to give something of the same value or maybe more valuable, in exchange. If your work is frustrating or you don't love work; then you have a choice to make it more pleasurable or quit, find another work that's more pleasurable. Stop whining for the whole day! Stop drama! Stop inviting all to your pity party!
Magnification of the positives can be applied to other persons as well. We should agree that no person is perfect. And every person has got some bad qualities, but there are a number of good qualities as well. Let's take one example. You have a very good friend is very close to you. You can't deny that he has bad qualities. But also, he has quite a lot of good qualities. So, it's about focusing on one particular good quality or good qualities & magnifying it. It's not true that everybody is close to you. Your instinct plays a very important role in choosing the person & magnifying those one/more positive favorable qualities. That's why you feel very happy stay or hang in around with him.
The Law Attraction or The Law of Karma:
If you talk bad about any person, even when he is not present or he's not listening or you are not even telling anybody about that, the hate or sarcasm will be reflecting back to you in the form of change in that person's behavior, as a result of your behavior.
You can do this experiment with yourself. Say that my boss is very bad person, repeat it for multiple times. The very next day, the person is actually will be yelling at you.
What do you give to the universe and that's what will be reflecting back on you. There is science behind this - Your thoughts are a form of energy which has some intensity, frequency and vibration. Positive thoughts carry positive vibes, negative thoughts carry negative vibes. So literally you are sending out negative energy to your boss, it will also be reflecting in your behavior, the change behavior will be reflecting on to him. So he/she will be giving back the same what you have given him. This holds good with the Newton's Third Law of motion -
"For every action (force or energy given out) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction(forge or energy transfer)."
It's always to good to think about others, ourselves & life.
The other thing that we have to know, we have to understand that we have to ignore certain negative aspects of a person or event for our own good.
Nowadays, we see quite a lot of divorces or break-ups happening between these young juveniles & also professionals. Now, the very basic problem is like, they have high expectations from the relationships and they feel disappointed quickly, they start to lose all the interest in the relationship. Even if a person commits a small error or mistake in the relationship, both the partners keep magnifying the error by talking, thinking or by sharing with others.
The gap in affection or the magnification of errors or mistakes gets reflected in the conversations, so they start blaming themselves, they start to hate each other and finally! They apply for a divorce or they break-up. We have to understand that every person has got positives and negatives. It's about thinking objectively even about ourselves or about others. It's about accepting that everyone's got good & bad qualities.
When you accept things as it's, without fighting against uncontrollable aspects, you find peace in life.
If you overreact to anything, you lose your peace of mind. You can solve any problem or issue in life, through objective analysis and acceptance.
Today let's learn a life hack. Something that has influenced my life and we see so many people who have been applying plus a mental activity that you have to perform on yourself is the SWOT analysis.
We call a strength, weakness, opportunities & threat analysis (SWOT). If you are honest, committed, this can be listed as a strength. You struggle to maintain a routine; this can be listed as a weakness. You are good in photography, if you hone your skills, one day you can become a professional photographer, this can be listed as an opportunity. You have committed or you were a part a major burglary in youth, police have any case against as they aren't aware. This can be listed as a threat. Remember, strengths and weaknesses are more subjective, opportunities and threats are dependent on first mentioned.
Objectively analysis of SWOTs, can completely change your life. If you are a dynamic person, you will be expert in turning your weaknesses to strengths, threats to opportunities. We'll be posting a detailed-on post on this, stay tuned!
You should definitely make a list of SWOTs. Find what needs to be worked on and work on them regularly. This is going to bring TRANSFORMATION.
Coming to the second life hack, every morning, ask yourself this question - 'What are the things that I'm grateful for?' List down all the important things that you are grateful to life or grateful to God. It can be your education, it can be your profession, it can be your company, your parents, your assets, whatever that you have achieved in life or maybe it can be a skill, it can be even your pet.
"In life. you can never be unhappy, if you continually express gratitude to each & every tiny thing."
You can thank your wife, husband or even your friend that you are really grateful, because of that person, you are able to have so much of positive experiences in life. You can thank them even in your mind and also express gratitude to God, for being responsible for all of these great things.
This is definitely going to change your mood. You can do SWOT analysis once in a while, whenever you are going to take any important decisions in your life.
"It's in the moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." - Tony Robbins, Awaken the giant within you.
If Decisions are going to shape our destiny, then we need to develop better decision-making ability. This life hack will assist you in making decisions, as taught in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) lessons.
List down the pros and cons of that particular decision-
Suppose if you are taking the decision, let's say, you are able to join a US university that you are applied for an MBA or an MS. You have to list down the pros & cons of the decision of joining a US university. Think about it!
Pros -
1. There is good value for that degree.
2. You can get good placements, or there are more opportunities to start the startup, or there are more opportunities for R&D and all these things
3. You can earn good money.
4. You can develop personally as well as professionally.
So, if you list down the pros of that particular, you know, event or decision, which you are about to make, and also the cons, what could be the cons? Think about it.
Cons
1. It can be, you may have to leave your home, stay away from your family
2. There may be some difficulties in the college like bullying, racism etc.
3. Higher education in US in expensive or in any other western countries.
Take a note of it and also you can objectively analyze it from your personality viewpoint. Consider your personality - Am I a person who can now get very well along with the others or what sort of persons do i need? How can deal with the loneliness? Are there any conditions or what could be your possible problems? I mean, challenges not problems, we don't say that. The problems are challenges, we call it as issues, which can be resolved. So, you can think about what and all the personal, family or social or psychological challenges you that you may face.
Occurrence of the issues may not be guaranteed but it's better. At-least you will be aware. It's better to be aware of all the issues and then if they don't happen it's good. Also objectively think from a third-party point of view, like from your friend's perspective, parents' perspective or your mentor's perspective. This is how you stay close to the ground reality!
If you can make decisions based on an analysis that's closest to the ground reality, definitely your life is going to get improved. And the last thing is like you know, try to identify a lot of positive aspects in each and every person or in any event of any sort of thing in your family or any association that you have, and this is differently & definitely going to change your life completely.
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Thank you so much!